Lane's Ramblings

Is the dream dead?

For the past few months I've been working toward one of my life goals - qualifying for the Boston Marathon by running a sub-3:10:00 in Melbourne in October. And I was on my way too - I had some trouble in the GRO Marathon in May but worked pretty hard and had a great time at the Run to the G Half Marathon and I was building from there. What I needed to avoid was injury, extracurricular activities, and peaking too early.

I was doing very well except for a trip to Tassie and one to Sydney. Then everything happened at once.. the Victorian mountains were having their best snow winter in 15 years so I had to hit the slopes but before that I had a breakdown during a speed workout - my body gave up. Then while boarding I pulled a muscle in my calf and with everything else going on it was too easy to take a break. The routine was gone, how was I going to pull out of this? But I was determined and started a comeback. But then I went on another boarding trip and a third...

This is the idea, I just want to qualify for this race and then I'll be done with road running for a while. I consider myself a runner but over the years I've come to despise road running, especially racing. All I want to do is run through the trails while surrounded by trees and run up mountains. Of course I'll still need to run on the road some days but I won't have to train for 2 months just to shave 5 seconds off my 10k time - I'm done with it, I hate it. Add to that boarding the snow, surfing the waves, biking the trails, hiking the mountains and I'm a happy person and still in shape. All I have to do is check the box and fulfill this dream.

On Saturday I was boarding down some good snow on a black diamond run on Mt Buller when I got too far off trail. I came to a stop before going over some boulders just on the other side of some snow covered trees. I had to climb back up the hill a little to get over to the side. The trail was full of uneven moguls and proved to be a bit steep as I slid a few times and even broke a strap on my backpack while sliding on my bum. Nearing the bottom of the trail I caught a toe edge on top of a mogul and fell 4 or 5 feet and landed on my chest. It hurt - bad. (side note - I hit this trail the next day and rocked it... bitch)

The rest of the weekend was rough and I spent a lot of time on the blues to avoid further injury. I was having trouble sleeping and the last couple of days I've been hunched forward but I'll be fine. I took Monday off from running to rest a bit but went out today - my main concern was being able to breathe and the pain caused from my chest expanding. How far did I get? 3 steps. That's right.. 3. Screw the breathing, it can't take the impact from running. I stopped and looked around. What do I do? I held the area with my hand and tried again. I can't run miles like that. Plus, it didn't help. I stopped again and looked around as if someone would be able to help me or tell me what to do or tell me that it would be all right. Then it hit me that I may not be able to recover to run Melbourne.

This wouldn't be the first time. I've dropped out of marathons before due to injury. Bay State many years ago because of my ankle, Detroit in 2004, oddly enough, due to a chest injury (how many people drop out of races because of chest injuries? This one was from soccer - thanks, Darren), and my entire 2006 season was out because of a broken foot (also soccer - I actually thought about all of the races I was going to miss before I even hit the ground).

I could run the race next year but I don't want to be a road runner anymore - I just want to qualify for this goddamn race now. What do I do? I have 9 weeks until the race (not a lot of time) and I have no idea how long this injury will last. Some options:

1) Buy a road bike to stay in shape.
Pros - I was going to buy one anyway to ride to work and as a new hobby.
Cons - Wicked expensive in Australia, not the same kind of workout (Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France how many times? and he runs a 3:15 marathon).
2) Fast walking (not speed walking).
Pros - I can do that, not expensive.
Cons - Certainly not enough cardio or muscle work.
3) Join a gym and get on the elliptical machine.
Pros - Similar cardio, no impact, girls in tight clothing on the machines around me.
Cons - Expensive, I'm not even sure if the injury can handle that.
4) Find a later marathon.
Pros - Gives me more time.
Cons - There aren't many more in Australia after Melbourne and it needs to be accredited.
5) Give in and hit the bottle.
Pros - None.
Cons - Everything else.

Seriously, people, this is killing me. I'm very upset about this. Tell me that I'll be able to run. Tell me that I don't need to check this box. Tell me to just dust off the mountain bike or grab a surfboard and hit the surf, do what I want and enjoy life. Tell me something.